What I miss
About 5 months AD, I was feeling somewhat lighter. One day I smiled for no reason, and the feeling lasted for several days. My wise grief counsellor said that was part of the pattern. Grief follows a pattern, it's the timeline that varies. She also said that the second six months would be harder than the first.
Yes. It has sunk it. That life is gone. Not only the mental and physical wonderfulness that was David, but our lost plans. The idea of getting old together or, as Ed Wheeler memorably sings, "Freewheeling Now." We were looking forward to that. I miss the grown up life that we created together: nice meals, wine, music, conversation. The hand holding, the love. I miss it all.
We were meant to be together, there is no question. We met online and his profile was all about the woman he was looking for. It was me, he could have written it about me. (I didn't realize that until after he died.)
It was a perfect fairy tale. Except that he didn't live happily ever after. In a perfect fairy tale, to quote David, "maybe the asteroid will hit us together." But I have children, therefore I gave up my right to look for that asteroid.
Sigh. The one syllable word for the regret, sadness and unbearable lightness of memory.
Yes. It has sunk it. That life is gone. Not only the mental and physical wonderfulness that was David, but our lost plans. The idea of getting old together or, as Ed Wheeler memorably sings, "Freewheeling Now." We were looking forward to that. I miss the grown up life that we created together: nice meals, wine, music, conversation. The hand holding, the love. I miss it all.
We were meant to be together, there is no question. We met online and his profile was all about the woman he was looking for. It was me, he could have written it about me. (I didn't realize that until after he died.)
It was a perfect fairy tale. Except that he didn't live happily ever after. In a perfect fairy tale, to quote David, "maybe the asteroid will hit us together." But I have children, therefore I gave up my right to look for that asteroid.
Sigh. The one syllable word for the regret, sadness and unbearable lightness of memory.
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